What Women Mean by "More Foreplay"

So you're good in bed. You know where the clitoris is, you know what positions she likes best, you think your sex life is good.

But then she says: "I need more foreplay."

What. Does. She. Mean?

You're already spending time warming her up. You're attentive. You're doing all the things you read about online. So what's missing?

(The answer isn't what you think it is)

What Most Men Think Foreplay Is

Let's be honest about what usually happens. You think foreplay is:

• Spending 10 minutes on kissing and touching
• Making sure you "take care of her" before moving on
• Hitting all the right spots in the right order
• Following the checklist you've learned

You might even pride yourself on being "good at foreplay" - you're not one of those guys who rushes straight to the main event. You take your time. You're attentive.

So why is she still saying she needs more?

Here's What She Actually Means

Foreplay starts way before you go to the bedroom. It's about making a woman feel adored, desired, and seen. And you don't do that by spending 5 minutes longer diving for pearls, if you get my drift.

No, it starts long before that.

The Getting Ready Ritual

Let your lady get ready in peace. Don't rush her. Don't hover impatiently by the door checking your watch. Take her somewhere that requires her to look beautiful, and make sure she knows she does.

If you have the money for some flowers or new lipstick, indulge her. These small gestures matter more than you think - they say "I thought about you today. I wanted to make you smile."

Make sure you cuddle her from behind as she gets ready, telling her how wonderful she looks. Notice the details - her perfume, the way she styled her hair, the dress she chose.

The Connection Phase

And while you're out - talk to her. Really talk. Connect, make her laugh. Ask her about her day, her thoughts, her dreams. Listen to her answers.

Do not rush her. Slow down. Take the time to notice how nice her lips are. Compliment them. Touch her hand across the table. Look at her like you can't wait to get her alone.

Build anticipation. Let the tension simmer.

The Home Stretch (Not What You Think)

Now you're home. And you might think, fabulous. Up to bed we go.

Haha no.

Get your lady a drink. Put on some music - something smooth, something that sets a mood. Make sure you smell good (seriously, this matters). Put your arms around her in the kitchen. Dance with her a little.

Build up gently and slowly. Touch her collarbone, her shoulders, her back. Kiss her neck. Run your hands through her hair. Take. Your. Time.

Let the anticipation build until she's the one who can't wait anymore.

And only when she is kissing you and impatiently dragging you to the bedroom - this is when you start what you think foreplay is.

Why This Actually Works (The Psychology Bit)

Here's what's happening in her brain that you need to understand:

When you rush the process, her nervous system hasn't had time to shift out of "doing mode" (work stress, household mental load, daily responsibilities) into "feeling mode" (present, sensual, open to pleasure).

The getting-ready ritual? That gives her permission to focus on herself and feel beautiful.

The conversation and connection? That makes her feel seen and valued as a person, not just a body.

The slow build-up at home? That's what actually gets her aroused - not because you're touching the "right spots," but because you're creating an experience where she feels desired and can let go of everything else.

What You're Really Doing

When you do all of this, you're not just "doing more foreplay." You're:

• Showing her she's worth slowing down for
• Making her feel desirable (not just sexually available)
• Creating space for her to transition from her day into intimacy
• Building genuine anticipation instead of just going through motions
• Demonstrating that you care about her experience, not just the destination

The Practical Takeaway

Next time your lady says she needs more foreplay, don't think "I need to spend more time on technique." Think "I need to start earlier and build anticipation."

Try this:

• Plan ahead - make a date, even if you're staying home
• Give her space and time to get ready
• Focus on connection and conversation
• Slow down the physical escalation
• Pay attention to what makes her melt
• Let her be the one who escalates to the bedroom

The Bottom Line

Good foreplay isn't a longer checklist. It's about creating an experience where your lady feels so desired, so connected, so relaxed that by the time you get to bed, she's already there mentally and physically.

That's what she means when she says she needs more foreplay.

And trust me - when you get this right? The sex that follows is worth every minute of anticipation.